It's not just the cash that you worked hard for and no longer have, its having to call and cancel all of your credit cards, getting a duplicate license, and being pissed off all day!!!

 

Dammit!!!

 

The one thing I take solace in is the fact that the type of douche bag that does something like this will eventually get caught. And I hope and pray to SWEET BABY JESUS that it's by someone who's big, strong, and has a violent past!!!

 

DAMMIT!!!

 

The one silver lining about this unfortunate occurrence is that I got to call a couple of businesses that I'd been to the night before and ask if I left my wallet there. Now this might sound like a boring story to you, but when they asked what it looked like, I got to come back with this sweet one liner...

 

"It's the one that says BAD MOTHER FUCKER"...#JulesWinfield

 

So, now that I not only have no money, no credit cards, and no ID...But also no WALLET to put them in, I must remedy this!!!

 

So how bout you HELP A BRUTHA OUT!!!

 

From RIGHT NOW til nest Sunday, I'm gonna give everyone that buys a SWOLE Patrol sponsored t-shirt a complementary wrist band ($4 value) and koozie ($6 value) as a way to buy another "BAD MOTHER FUCKER" wallet...

 

Here's a list of all the shirts I have with a quick description of how badass each one is...get to shopping SWOLEdiers!!!

 

1) COCK STRONG t-shirt (grey or white): "When I enter a room, I like people to recognize. What better way than announcing it over a loud speaker of a shirt that screams AWESOME?! It will be stated loud and clear when people see this tattooed across your Chesticles that you aren't just strong, you are COCK STRONG !"

 

 

2) MAN Up t-shirt (black or gray): "When you're being a split tail and are becoming a general embarrassment to yourself, and the rest of us dudes that soldier through when life kicks us in the teeth, put on this coat of armor and sound off like you've got a pair!"

 

 

3) MR. RIGHT NOW t-shirt (grey or white): "Team Swole Patrol is both proud, and told by others to feel ashamed, about this lil ditty! We know there are those out there that want to be Mr. Right...But we like to live in the moment! So to Hell with being Mr. Right! Swole Patrol members only see the value in being  Mr. Right (Now). "

 

 

4) SWOLLGASM t-shirt (white only): "(n.) the intense feeling of self gratification when in the act of or being admired for ones large, muscular physique"

 

 

5) SWOLE PATROL t-shirt (grey or white): "Born the bastard twins of Aphrodite, Tucker Max, and a well placed lightning bolt; Team Swole Patrol is the provocative duo of Chandler  Marchman and Julius Tobin; just 2 meatheads with a mind for victory and the testicular fortitude of 1,000 hungry grizzly bears. You too can follow their lead by becoming an honorary member and sporting this badass tee. Stay Swole Brother!"

 

 

6) NO EXCUSES t-shirt (army green or camel): "You know what they say about excuses. They're like assholes; everyones got 'em and they always stink! Wear this badass camo tee and let everyone know that you don't have excuses, you have BALLS! The type of balls that will push you into taking action  instead of the easy way out!"

 

 

And for those of you willing to go the extra mile, I've got 4 Xtra Large's and 7 Medium's left in my limited edition Digital Camo SWOLEdier t-shirts. So if you want one of these you gotta email me directly (reply to this email) so I can send you a PayPal Invoice....  

 

HELP A BRUTHA OUT!!!

 

Stay Strong and Stay SWOLE!!!

 

MANdler

 

P.S. Christmas is coming up...get your shopping done early!!! Get a SWOLE Pack!!!

 

P.P.S. Don't be a douche bag and steal from others...it's dishonest and not something that real men do. WORK for what you want....Don't take it from those that do!!!